The Mist Review

There has been a rather good trend recently of horror films actually turning out to be pretty good - [.REC], The Orphanage, The Descent (OK, that one's a little older). Could it be that producing companies/distributors have realised that everyone hates those 15-rated 80's horror remakes? Let's hope so, because if films like The Mist keep coming out, I may well have to turn my attention back to the genre...

To keep it simple, The Mist is one of the best horror films I've ever seen. Whilst it may not reach the intensity of, say, "The Descent", or the filmic brilliance of "Alien", when it comes to serving up some insane scares with a great storyline and believable characters, The Mist knocks 'em dead. The story is easy to follow - bad storm, natural/supernatural mist closes in, people trapped in convenience store fight for their lives - and it's nice to see a film that manages to balance characterisation with lots of scary action really well. Of course, with Frank Darabont directing, this was never going to be yet another recycled horror debacle.

The monsters, all CGI (which is limited due to the budget - though you'll hardly care), are truly horrific. Following very closely, according to Alex, the descriptions of the creatures in Stephen King's novella, they provide many of the non-human scares, and amiably so. From giant spiders who shoot acidic webs (in an excellent, terrifically tense scene in a chemist's) to toothed tentacles belonging to an unseen 'thing' which rip off flesh disturbingly easily, we are shown enough to be scared, whilst giving the feeling that what we see is not even the worst of what is out there. The film follows a style similar to that of War of the Worlds, as we follow only one father's story of trying to protect his son, meaning that we never are shown everything, in keeping with the novella's occasional ambiguity. Also, it's nice to have something truly monstrous in a horror film - none of those silly malformed psycho-killers a la Jigsaw or Leatherface.

Not all of the horror is built up through the creatures, with tension being amped up in the film's true message. The development of the characters trapped in the shop is fantastic, slowly building up tension as attemps to escape the mist inevitably end tragically. It is also here that we encounter the film's greatest asset - Marcia Gay Harden (teehee!) - a religious nutjob, whose theories and speculations of imminent apocalypse at first seems crazy, but soons develops a following. She is truly creepy, her monologues always sending a shiver down the spine.

As with many King adaptations, whilst there are many conclusions, we are left to interpret alot for ourselves, making the viewing of the film more personal to whoever watches it. We are all able to read into it how much or how litte we want - those looking for intelligence, chills and meaning in a horror film will get it, and those who want to see a scary monster film about unnatural (?) fog will get exactly that. The whole thing leads up to a gut-wrenching final scene that may be too downbeat and shocking for some, but I personally loved - finally a Hollywood horror movie grows some serious balls. What happens is, in every way, the true meaning of horror. I implore you to see The Mist. It is brilliant.

Genre Value: 4/5
Entertainment Value: 4/5
Style: 4/5
Overall Rating: 4/5

The Mist is released nationwide in cinemas on Friday July 4th

Diary of the Dead Review

This is the first of a new category on "I Hate How Fake Hollywood Is..." of films that have recently come out or are soon to be released onto DVD.

Diary of the Dead is George A Romero's attempt at a cam-corder zombie movie. Being the daddy of zombie film directors, it seems that, whilst an innovative concept (despite it being pipped to the post by Cloverfield and [.REC]), Romero appears to be trying to get up with the times and get down with the kids. Before I go ahead and semi-rip into this film, it must be said that I used to LOVE zombie films before I got bored of the horror genre, and still have a like of them now.

Because I used to think zombies were the best thing ever in the entire world, I decided to watch Diary of the Dead, hoping it would live up to the recent [.REC], a frenetic exercise in pant-wetting film making. It had mixed reviews, but the documentary style intrigued me, as I was inevitably caught in the Cloverfield/camcorder movie pre-release hype. Some of Romero's fans have said that the style doesn't work, or that it was annoying, but the truth is that the style, which, like in Cloverfield and [.REC] brings a sense of immediacy to the film, is not actually the problem.

Romero's films have always been satirical of the various issues he felt needed to be addressed in society. In "Dawn...", there was his criticism of our materialistic nature, and in "Land..." he addressed Bush's America. Here in "Diary..." is Romero's view that the media is lying to us all, and it never gives the full picture, and that we're actually zombies to the media, and that we rely on it too much, and that blah-de-blah-de-blah. This would've worked well if it was a subtext that you could read into if you were interested, but the way it is tackled is downright preachy, to the effect that the audience feel's like its in a lecture instead of watching a zombie film. And it's not like anyone would argue if they were told that the media is biased. In feeling the need to tell us this, the script is riddled with terrible lines, which aren't delivered well by the sub-par cast, for instance Debra handing a camera to Jason in disgust, saying "Take this - it's too easy to use", or, in a ridiculous voiceover "The media were lying to us... trying to make it seem like everything was gonna be alright". It completely detracted from my enjoyment of the film, and always made me feel taken out of the story (which gets boring in it's linear "drive/stop off/kill zombies - rinse, repeat" style).

This isn't the only thing wrong with the film either. The characters are decidedly weak, and I never really cared about any of them. A couple seriously grated after a while, and the cameraman is decidedly annoying. When his friends ask why the hell he's filming everyone dying instead of actually helping, the audience can't help but readily agree with them, leading to many scenes where you wish you could slap him across the face and tell him that he's the one that needs to wake up - not us. Similarly, the group's stereotypical British teacher is infuriating. Talking drunkenly in one of the worst accents I've ever heard, I wanted this guy to die from the start. Not a great thing in a horror movie, really. Everything that furthers his stereotype, for example, when given a choice of weapons, he takes an archaic bow and arrow, cos, y'know he's an old stuffy Briddish guy, just made me hate him more and more. The only one I actually liked was the Amish guy, providing some well needed comedy to the film. He occasionally made me laugh out loud (the bit where he introduces himself is hilarious), and he provides one of the best zombie moments. Most of the other characters are so bland that they don't really bear writing about here.

All of this is a shame, because when it comes down to the zombie stuff, Romero is still the king. Whilst [.REC] gave us a fair few panic attacks when it came to running away from the 'infected', "Diary..." has some inspired ideas. I don't want to ruin much, but a hospital scene with a defibrillator and a zombie + acid = WOW moment show that he reigns supreme when it comes to thinking up awesome stuff to throw at the undead.

So basically, if you're a zombie fan, watch it for the variety of great moments. If you don't want to be lectured to at great length about the media, then you're best to avoid this one. But if you persevere, watch out for the zombie clown...

Genre Value: 2.5/5
Entertainment Value: 2/5
Style: 2/5
Overall Rating: 2/5

Diary of the Dead will be released on 1 and 2-Disc DVD on June 30th

[.REC] Review

Yup, it's time for another "found footage"-style movie. Well, it's already been about 3 weeks since the last one... Cloverfield was truly awesome - one of the best cinema experiences in recent years, and properly lived up to the hype. I never saw Diary of the Dead, which was unluckily pipped at the post by said monster movie to be the first "FF" movie of the year.

And now [.REC] comes along. Unfortunately, over here and in America it's always going to be seen as "that other handi-cam movie" - yet this was out in Spain last year. It has a brilliantly simple premise; late night TV presenter Angela and her camera-man Pedro are doing an article upon firefighters, they meet some firemen, and get called out to a building where there seems to have been a spot of bother... soon, they're trapped under quarantine, with talks of a virus outbreak.

I've seen a fair few zombie movies, from fun-but-trashy Resident Evil to the impressive 28 Days Later, but none have quite instilled terror into me the way that [.REC] did - simply put, it's terrifying. The format works well, and it's a nice touch to see characters telling Pedro to stop filming, giving an authenticity to the style. There's a decent build up throughout, with tension being amped and amped until... about 45 minutes in, everything explodes into action - running, screaming, shouting, blood, zombies, the whole shebang. By the way, that's all before the lights in the building stop working... At only 72 minutes long, it's an incredibly undiluted experience. There's no chance for filler, no time for a breather once it gets going, and this works heavily in it's favour. All action is decidedly frenzied and realistic, the camera getting shakier the more scared Pedro gets. It's all very authentic.The final 15 minutes or so of the film are real edge-of-your-seat, fist-in-mouth, hide-behind-the-cushion, ending with a horrific final shot that will linger in the memory for days to come.

There are a couple of weaknesses - the middle section of getting to know the people in the flat occasionally gets tiresome, and because the audience already knows that it's a zombie movie, the shouting of "what's going on?!" also begins to grate slightly.

But these are minor niggles in one of the best horror's I've seen, and certainly one of the scariest. Make sure you catch it this week (it's only on limited release) before the Americans go and balls it all up with the remake "Quarantine" due out later this year...

Genre Value: 4.5/5
Entertainment Value: 3.5/5
Style: 4/5
Overall Rating: 4/5

I Am Legend Review

So, I've been quite late with this one. It's been out since boxing day, yet I only got around to finally seeing it last Saturday. The trailer was scary, intriguing, and ultimately promised a lot. All those shots of a deserted New York, the survival aspect in Smith's daily routine in contrast to the horrific howls and intense bursts of actions in the trailer's latter section...

...so it's fair to say that I had really high hopes. It's definitely fair to say that I very much liked it, without being knocked out by it. But one of this film's qualities is that it gets the balance right. It takes itself quite seriously, but, hell, the end of the world is a pretty serious subject matter. It has a little bit of depth to it, but not so much as to distract itself from the fact that, at it's heart, it's a Will Smith thriller/action/horror mainstream blockbuster. Luckily it knows this, meaning that, tonally, the film hit the nail on the head.

The film opens strongly, a decent hunting sequence setting the scene and introducing us to Dr Robert Neville. The deserted streets provide intrigue [what happened? why?], with intermittant flashbacks giving snippets of information at opportune moments. We see Neville on his daily routine - "buying" DVDs, gathering corn, driving through the streets - and are given a true sense of how lonely this man must feel. The fact that the audience can feel for him after seeing him alone for about 2 days [with the wiping out of humanity happening three years ago] just goes to show how effective I Am Legend is at setting up its premise.

It must be said that Will Smith gives an extremely good performance, pretty much carrying the whole film single handedly. His sane-enough-to-feel-sorry-for, but mad-enough-to-be-a-little-bit-scared-of Doctor is one of the reasons why the film overall works well. His sense of longing and desperation to connect with someone other than his dog is utterly believable, and is a nice chance from his usual fast-talkin' black dude [as seen in 'I, Robot', 'Independance Day' and 'Men in Black' to name but a few]. And that's not to say there isn't humour - a Shrek-quoting scene brought a smile to my face [and a feeling of shame, as I felt myself quoting along with it in my head], and just the fact that he is Will Smith means that there are a couple of lighthearted moments. Given how many sci-fi films Smith has been in, this could have simply been a re-tread of his old performances.

The cinematography is also brilliant, especially for such a mainstream movie. Aerial shots of New York increase the feeling of isolation, and it's nice to see that these sort of movies can also be made quite stylistically.

Which is why it's such a shame about the CGI. Whilst far from being terrible, it wouldn't have hurt to use actors for the night crawlers, and it seems like it was done for the hell of it. Just because CG is available, sometimes it works best when used sparingly. The crawlers themselves are reasonably scary, fleeting glimpses in the first half giving us something to fear and look forward to in the latter stages. Some have criticised the science for the fact that a virus can turn humans into super-human vampire-esque creatures - but, hey, this is in a world where we've cured cancer; and was it ever going to be the most realistic movie ever made? A couple of other niggles that didn't really work were the Bob Marley references [a nice idea, but seemed a bit tagged-on], and the ending feels slightly rushed, and squanders some of the tension built up in the first half by over-using the crawlers.

However, this is still a very entertaining film. It's jumpy, dramatic and exciting. It successfully combines blockbuster movie-making with clever cinematography, and isn't afraid to ask questions, the most prominent of which is: if Smith is the last person truly alive, and is capturing and killing the crawlers in the day, who is the real monster?

Genre Value: 3.5/5
Entertainment Value: 4/5
Style: 4/5
Overall Rating: 3.5/5

Planet Terror Review

And, finally, it arrives. The second half of the Grindhouse extravaganza has finally arrived in the UK, with low marketing amd little hype. No wonder it did badly in the 'States. The fact that it did is a real shame, as the film is a real blast. When combined with Tarantino's Death Proof, it could be a fun, indulgent, glorious event to be treasured. Let's just hope for a full Grindhouse DVD.

One of the disappointments in the split was the question of the fake trailers - which film would they accompany? And would they all make it? Sadly, the answer is no. Whilst "Machete" makes it unscathed, the others will be probably be forever lost to UK audiences unless they find their way onto one of the DVDs. And when the trailers are as good as this, it's a shame that they don't feature. Whilst maintaining the tone of Grindhouse, it manages to complete the aims in 2 and a half minutes. With the incredible line "They just f*cked with the wrong Mexican!", it's no wonder it's been rumoured as maybe being made for a Grindhouse 2 - though obviously no plans have been finalised [and quite probably won't be, due to the fact that Grindhouse was, technically, a flop]. Basically, it's lovingly made and well executed, a perfect way to ease the audience into the full-on feel of Planet Terror.

Back to the movie - Planet Terror [a.k.a Grindhouse Part 2] is gross. It splats, it gurgles, it pops and oozes and drips. The first ten minutes include bio-chemical zombies, ball cutting and Bruce Willis, and it doesn't let up. Tension is, to be honest, fairly low, but luckily it isn't the desired effect from Rodriguez. The cheesy music and grainy look of the film is much more "grindhouse" than Death Proof [missing reels, corny soundtrack] and the tongue-in-cheek tone of the film is more leaning towards gross-out comedy shlock than downright terror. This keeps proceedings funny, sharp and always enjoyable, and means the film is more like the olden days, when posters promised more than the movies could provide.

Whilst this may sound like a criticism, it really isn't. Planet Terror never tries to be more than it knows it is and wants to be. It gives sly reference to the war on terror, without focusing on it, and knows that its concept is laughable. The icky bits are suitably slimy, the weird bits suitably weird, leaving us satisfied, if not blown away, by the outcome. I mean, how many films do you get to see where Tarantino's balls drip [yes, drip] off? And Sayid from Lost holding a big jar of balls?

This movie likes balls, and it's sure got some. It moves at a rollocking pace, Rodriguez amping up the action and laughs as the time whizzes by. The action is always fun, especially the final shoot-out [yes, with a gun-leg from Rose McGowan], and the characters hit exactly the right tone. Whilst the performances aren't always mind-blowing, they more than serve their purpose, especially Freddie Rodriguez as the insanely cool El Wray, who seems to be able to do things because he is El Wray. There are many parts like this, but Planet Terror feels no need to explain and justify its reasons.

One of the movie's main attraction is its balls-out attitude, summed up when Rose McGowan emerges with a gun attached to the stub of her leg. She looks incredible, simply cool in the way that a hot chick with sunglasses and a gun-leg is. The fact that it's willing to base the whole movie leading up to the this scene shows its daring and inventive feel. The finale does not disappoint, with a very satisfying ending, yet keeping with the tone of the previous hour and a half.

The direction isn't really anything special, Rodriguez focusing more on the feel and look of the movie than using interesting shot types. To say that it wouldn't fit the genre would be true, but Rodriguez need not worry - most people going to see this aren't going to nit-pick about the good-but-nothing-special direction rather than focus on what this movie's really about.

And what is this movie about? Is it a subtle comment on our fears of nuclear bio-weapons? Is it an intimate view of small-town america? Or is it just a dumb excuse for slime, monsters and stupidity? Well, it's none of these. Planet Terror is all about having a good time, with comedy, splatter and action combining to a very entertaining, if not earth-shattering, movie, that can be accurately summed up [in tone and subject] by the line "I'm gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge"...

So, who's up for a full DVD with both movies and trailers?

Genre Value: 4/5
Entertainment Value: 4/5
Style: 3.5/5
Overall Rating: 4/5

1-18-Oh, Wait... Is That It? - Recent News and Personal Views

The SUPER-SECRET-MEGA-EXCITING title for JJ Abrams "Untitled" 1-18-08 has possibly been announced. The team behind the movie announced that a new trailer for the movie was to appear at the beginning of Beowulf, released in America on Nov 16th, and would reveal the movie's title and give some glimpses of the creature(s) that everyone was running away from in the first extremely effective trailer [for me, one of the best teasers for years]. The viral marketing for the film has been phenomenal - excellent trailer, everything kept under wraps, brilliant posters and many title rumours have cranked up the hype-factor, and now somebody's said they've seen it.

*CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM NOW ON*

Devin Faraci from movie-site chud.com has seen a trailer for the movie labelled "Trailer #1, V.17" - and therefore it may not be exactly what Beowulf viewers see. Devin describes "Army guys running up a street, firing into the air. Tanks come up behind them, firing. Rockets launch up.We see the big monster briefly passing between two buildings. I couldn't make it out at all, but it appeared to be HUGE." Supposedly there will be little monsters and a big monster, lots of choppy editing and hand held cameras, though the trailer mainly shows more panicky Americans yelling for help. For the full description, visit THIS SITE.

At the end of the trailer, the title for the movie is revealed. There is a chance that this is a marker to be changed for the actual screenings but the movie title is...
...CLOVERFIELD
[Highlight text to read]

Yup, that's it. It's what we suspected all along - OK title, too much build up. Slightly disappointed. I was hoping for something really awesome, and totally out of the blue. Hell, at least it's not Monstrous though...

*SPOILERS END HERE*

In more news, there's more viral marketing from the Dark Knight guys. A new website, rorysdeathkiss.com, has brought forth another Halloween-based task, and is whetting appetites all over the web for the movie. Let's hope the end result is worth the wait and endless clues.

New releases this week - I'm most excited about 30 Days Of Night, which has been hailed as one of the best vampire movies in ages, and as a big fan of Night Watch with its more original take on the genre, I'm looking forward to seeing how this compares.

In even more movie news, a new picture has caused a divide in fans of two sets of movies. Of course I'm talking about Alien vs. Predator: Requim's "Predalien" hybrid. Personally, I'm impressed - there's not much more you can do with a Predator/Xenomorph hybrid except stick some dreadlocks on it and make it look like a Xenomorph but more badass - and this is exactly what they've done.



So, no complaints from me, and, as a mystery even to myself, I am really looking forward to this movie, despite the pretty bad first film. From interviews etc, it sounds like these guys really know what they're doing. They're using suits instead of CGI, and have talked about the tone of the film being very different to Paul WS Anderson's movie.

So, I think that's it. There are so many movies to look forward to over the next 6 months. And with marketing strategies pushed into overdrive, let's hope they don't disappoint...

The Skeleton Key Review

So, after a long absence, I now begin a new feature, reviewing films which are reasonably new, but not not in cinemas or just out on DVD. Today's review is of 2005 hoodoo-horror-thriller movie The Skeleton Key.

The Skeleton Key begins, quite aptly, with a man apparently being bored to death. This is a most likely unintenional but retrospectively clever touch by the director/writing team, as the first hour or so of the film is incredibly dull. In fact, if it weren't for that chilling, disturbing ending, the film would most likely have been long forgotten to the realm of lost, crap horror films by now - and I only finished watching it ten minutes ago. The conventions are all here - creepy house, flickering lights, scary door, mysterious objects - making what could be a very different, stand-out movie sink into depths of mundanity and banality. It's a miracle my eyes stayed open long enough to get to the surprisingly satisfying climax. I simply let the hoodoo/black magic/haunted house plot wash over me, occasionally absorbing details I thought might be important.

In terms of scares, its all random jolts, creaky doors, and red herrings. How terrifying. It doesn't really warrant many brain-cells or a large attention span, so those willing to stick with the movie are those most likely to be impressed by a slightly more intelligent and satisfying climax than usual.

But as I said earlier, the reveal is much more satisfying than usual, and is genuinely spine tingling. It leaves the audience feeling uneasy, which is why I'm currently watching Eurotrip before going to bed. The thought of what actually happens to the characters is quite sickening, and the overcoming of expectations leave you feeling shocked. Don't let anyone ruin it for you. It's one of those films where it exists purely for that horrifying twist [like Saw]. Without it, it's a 1.5/5.

With it, it's a comfortable 3/5.

Genre Value: 3.5/5
Entertainment Value: 2/5
Style: 2/5
Overall Rating: 3/5

Shock Shock Horror Horror

I'm hoping to write a lot more on this blog in the future, just about anything film related, really. I shall soon be watching Blades of Glory [the Will Ferrell ice-skating comedy] and may well be reviewing that, and am looking at starting a new "classic reviews" section, reviewing, you guessed it, classic films. Ellie is mid-Airplane! review, so watch out for that soon.

Today I will be adding my two cents to the 1408 debate [handily rhyming]. Many people have said to me to go and see it, but the truth is that shlock horror no longer interests me. If you spoke to me a year a go, I would've gushed about House of Wax and Final Destination, but not today. No sir-ee. One day I realised that most horror movies are complete wastes of time. Scares are often manufactured through creaky doors and dark rooms until they are no longer scary - just uninteresting and uniform. I laughed out loud [lolled?] at the similarity between these two posters, from the same team of producers/writers or whatever.

This a perfect example of the point I'm trying to make. All horror movies seem to have the same themes, stories and conventions [I know this is obvious, but look at negatively]. Not only are these two posters exactly the same, but Apartment 1303 looks as if it shared a writer with 1408. I'm looking for originality in horror, something thats actually scary, not some crazed japanese ghost or haunted house. If you want something genuinely scary, look for The Descent or Severance. The premise of each is disturbingly possible - well, maybe not the Descent's creatures, but the shocking beginning and primal fears involved are - and is much better for it. Don't let Severance's "horror-comedy" tag fool you - the horror vastly outweighs the comedy, and it is honestly terrifying. Hell, even the first Saw film is worth a watch - if only for that stunning twist. Looks past the pretty awful dialogue and the declining sequels [Saw III belongs in the sick and twisted bargain bin] and there is an exciting, intelligent thriller [not really horror - trust me on that] with more brains than gore. And if anyone tries to tell you that Hostel is good, there's obviously something wrong with them.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, most horror films are shite.

Even More Friday Releases

The big mainstream releases this week includes yet another second sequel in Shrek The Third. Reviews have been a lot less positive than those for the other Shrek films, and it appears that the franchise is starting to run out of steam. Things don't bode well for the next two sequels which have already been announced. Also released today is Eli Roth's torture porn sequel Hostel: Part II. The first one was a load of tat - incredibly shallow, boring, and just plain awful, and this one doesn't look much better.

Other Releases:
The Flying Scotsman
Shutter

The "Definitely Not Fantastic, But Better Than The First" Four...

Friday sees the release of Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer, which I'm sure we're all hoping will be much better than the first. With character introductions firmly out of the way, now it's time for some ACTION. Some reviews are out now - Empire Online, Total Film and BBC Movies all have them up - and the reactions are reasonbly positive. 3 star ratings seem to sum up the film, which promises fans the Silver Surfer and planet-munching Galactus.

In other news, gore fans will be happy that some of the most hyped horror/thrillers of the year have been rated as 18. Hostel: Part Two surely can't be much worse than the first, which was a pointless exercise in providing gore, dark "humour" and unjustified amounts of T'n'A. Face it - there was no story, and it wasn't the "sick f*cked up movie" that Roth claimed it would be. Tarantino's Death Proof has also been [unsurprisingly] given an 18 certificate. It seems that the only positive for Grindhouse being split [grrrrr...] is that Death Proof has been extended - everyone has said that they think it's a better film for it. Finally, Captivity, who have had posters banned in America for being so disturbing has also been given an 18 for "strong violence, torture and grisly images". Sounds lovely.

That's today's update - keep coming back for more!