Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Shock Shock Horror Horror

I'm hoping to write a lot more on this blog in the future, just about anything film related, really. I shall soon be watching Blades of Glory [the Will Ferrell ice-skating comedy] and may well be reviewing that, and am looking at starting a new "classic reviews" section, reviewing, you guessed it, classic films. Ellie is mid-Airplane! review, so watch out for that soon.

Today I will be adding my two cents to the 1408 debate [handily rhyming]. Many people have said to me to go and see it, but the truth is that shlock horror no longer interests me. If you spoke to me a year a go, I would've gushed about House of Wax and Final Destination, but not today. No sir-ee. One day I realised that most horror movies are complete wastes of time. Scares are often manufactured through creaky doors and dark rooms until they are no longer scary - just uninteresting and uniform. I laughed out loud [lolled?] at the similarity between these two posters, from the same team of producers/writers or whatever.

This a perfect example of the point I'm trying to make. All horror movies seem to have the same themes, stories and conventions [I know this is obvious, but look at negatively]. Not only are these two posters exactly the same, but Apartment 1303 looks as if it shared a writer with 1408. I'm looking for originality in horror, something thats actually scary, not some crazed japanese ghost or haunted house. If you want something genuinely scary, look for The Descent or Severance. The premise of each is disturbingly possible - well, maybe not the Descent's creatures, but the shocking beginning and primal fears involved are - and is much better for it. Don't let Severance's "horror-comedy" tag fool you - the horror vastly outweighs the comedy, and it is honestly terrifying. Hell, even the first Saw film is worth a watch - if only for that stunning twist. Looks past the pretty awful dialogue and the declining sequels [Saw III belongs in the sick and twisted bargain bin] and there is an exciting, intelligent thriller [not really horror - trust me on that] with more brains than gore. And if anyone tries to tell you that Hostel is good, there's obviously something wrong with them.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, most horror films are shite.

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